Zrbo's Favorite Songs of 2016

The year I gave up on popular music.

This was a strange year for me musically. It would seem that I just didn't hear anything new this year that caught me ear. That's due either to me not paying as much attention to pop culture as I used to, or the other more pressing matters that affected the global stage this year, or perhaps my own interests solidifying into what I already listen to. Either way, you won't find much music from 2016 on this list. Here we go.

5. "Hee Haw"

This didn't gain very much viral fame as it frankly deserved. It basically sums up our current state of things. Washington has been reduced to a Hee Haw singalong.

4. "Flashbeagle"

Hear me out. When I was very little I was obsessed with Snoopy and the Peanuts. To this day I still have a bunch of Snoopy paraphernalia lying around. One of my earliest Snoopy related memories is dancing like a maniac to "Flashbeagle" while some babysitters looked on. The song comes from the animated special "It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown" created around the time that Flashdance and aerobic rock were greatly in vogue.

There's actually two different videos of Flashbeagle circulating around. There's one here that's basically the straight song as it appeared in the animated special. But the second video, posted above, is much more entertaining. It's got parts of the animated special but it's interspersed with "making of" segments. While it's kind of neat to see how they rotoscoped the quite impressive moves of Marine Jahan (also Jennifer Beals' body double for Flashdance) the real gem is here is the shots of the vocalists singing in the studio.

You've got schlubby Joey Scarbury, "known" for "Theme from The Greatest American Hero (Believe it or Not)", and Desiree Goyette, known for voicing various animated figures such as Nermal and Betty Boop. I love how we're led to believe we're watching the actual studio recording, with Desiree looking particularly over-enthused. But then the illusion is ruined when at 40 seconds Desiree looks straight into the camera completely ruining the notion that this was not pre-planned.

I haven't even got to the animated bits yet though. It's fascinating to see how Snoopy is the "cool" one wearing his ripped aerobic gear, but the dance floor is still straight up from the disco era complete with the multi colored lighted tile floor. You can sense the transition that was taking place in American dance floors as the new 80s style dance was being performed in aging disco clubs. Even the adults in the room (adults in a Snoopy cartoon?) seem to be in awe of Snoopy's "new" style and moves. Am I reading too much into a Snoopy cartoon?

The song is incredibly cheesy but I just love how Desiree and especially Joey are giving it their all. Then there's the little things like the crashes of thunder and epic string flourishes that give the song a decidedly epic 80s dance floor feel. I distinctly remember seeing this version of the video when I was younger and I'm terribly glad that someone made it available online.

3. Stevie Nicks - "Stand Back"

I've known this song for years but as I was driving across a bridge back in March it came on the radio and it just lodged itself deep in my skull. It's really all about that snazzy keyboard riff, provided by Prince in a perfectly Dave Chappelle-ready story.

And then there's the video. On the shortlist for "videos most indicative of their time" we've got some serious early 80s music video tropes. There's no less than billowy drapery, big hair, synchronized dancers that look like they just came off the set of All That Jazz or possibly the video for Beat It, berets a la Red Dawn, various neon lights, and even a treadmill because aerobics!

Then at around 2:40 we change venues from a darkly lit studio to something resembling the men's condo from Three Men and a Baby. What I love is how sincere everyone seems to be taking it. They are really *feeling* that jam. It's a great video and a great song from start to finish.

2. Echo Image - "Things I Know"

Isn't it great when you discover new music from a band that you thought were no longer producing music? That's how I felt earlier this year when I discovered "Things I Know" from Norwegian synthpop group Echo Image. Having only released one album back in 2001 they seemed to disappear from the music world. Well, it looks like I wasn't paying enough attention. Back in 2010 Echo Image released "Things I Know", and now it looks like they released a compilation album back in April, with possibly more to come.

The strange thing about "Things I Know" is that it sounds exactly like Echo Image did back in 2001. If you didn't tell me this was a more recent song I would have thought it was just a B-side I had never heard from their heyday. And in this age of the post-2016 election it wins my award for favorite chorus of the year:

I feel the world is not my own
But I believe the things I know
I feel the world is without love
And died long ago

Who can resist the part near the end when criminally underused Trine Bilet drops in to sing the chorus while the trance euphoria kicks in? Not me.

1. Overwatch - "Victory Theme"

Not the most interesting number one, but let me explain. The game Overwatch is easily my favorite game of the year. Because I've been playing it so much I hear the music a lot. The whole soundtrack is great. The World Could Always Use More Heroes is just utterly triumphant, and Rally the Heroes is this bit of music that plays near the end of a match that just perfectly matches the tenseness of the finale of any given match.

However, my personal favorite is the Victory theme. The reason I've heard it so many times it because it plays at the end of every match. Many Overwatch fans will tell you they like the Victory theme too, but most of them are referring to the part near the beginning where the horns and percussion blast triumphantly.

Me, my favorite part occurs immediately after this, when the game throws you into a post-match lobby while you wait a bit until the next match starts. That's when, at around 32 seconds, that wonderful synth line kicks and manages to be simultaneously tense and vaguely calming. In particular there's this little bit that starts around 56 seconds. That part right there is my favorite piece of music this year. I have had that little synth riff running through my head nonstop for months now and every time I play a match it's right there waiting for me. Game of the year and music of the year, all in a nutshell.

Better Late than Never: Zrbo's Favorite Game of 2009

This post was originally going to update my list of favorite games of 2009 when I discovered that I had never actually made a post detailing those games. So think of this as a lost post that should have been posted a year and a half ago... if I had actually gotten around to playing my now favorite game of 2009 back then.

And the winner is... Demon's Souls! Ah, Demon's Souls, how did I not notice you back when you arrived to critical acclaim at the tail end of 2009? Even my go-to videogame review site, Gamespot, gave it the 2009 Game of the Year award and I still paid little-to-no attention to this wonderful, wonderful gem of a game.

Perhaps I didn't pay much attention to (or chose to ignore) Demon's Souls because of the reviews. The reviews were all extremely positive, but they all said the same thing: that the game is brutally difficult. And it is. Make no mistake, this is not some videogame-as-art kind of game, this is truly a gamer's game.

What makes the game so difficult? Well, to begin with, Demon's Souls eschews many facets of modern game design that have become the norm. Take the simple concept of the checkpoint. In most games the game is constantly saving your progress in the background, so that when you die you lose a few minutes of time and are usually placed near the beginning of the encounter that got you killed. Demon's Souls dumps this concept and makes it so that if you die you have to start the ENTIRE level over again, with all the enemies back in place. Not only that, but the game punishes you further by cutting your life bar in half when you die and by making you lose all of the souls (i.e., experience points) you've acquired unless you make it back to the place where you died and touch your bloodstain on the ground to retrieve your collected souls.

While that's usually the most cited reason for difficulty in Demon's Souls, there's certainly other ways the developer's have gone out of their way to make life difficult. Get this: the game does not include a pause option - as in you can't stop the game. Enemies will often be waiting in hiding and you can't see them until it's too late. If you do manage to survive to the end of the level and make it to the boss, you will find an absolutely cunning foe that requires all the skills you've learned to stay alive. And if you die during the boss fight, well it's back to the beginning of the level again.

So why would anyone go through with this torture? Well, for starters, the gameplay is just fantastic. Your character always responds to each press of the button, and the flow of combat, block, thrust, parry, block, stab, is so well honed and refined. What makes it so rewarding is that when you mess up and die from an attack it's always your error. Rarely will you have the problem of "WTF, I hit the button and my character didn't respond!". The combat mechanics work, and work well. It's just such a pleasure to engage in combat, learning all the subtle nuances of blocking, parrying, and swinging a sword around.

Another reason why the game is so fantastic is the multiplayer system. It's not however your typical multiplayer system. In Demon's Souls you play in your own world, but you can see the ghosts of other people playing in their world. This helps alleviate the lonely eerieness and sense of isolation as you wander around imposing castles, caves, and the like. Seeing someone's ghost running around gives you a sense of comfort knowing that someone else in a parallel world is going through the same tribulations.

The game makes a really wonderful use of these ghosts through the use of bloodstains. Occasionally you will stumble upon a bloodstain on the ground. When you touch it a red ghost pops up and reenacts the last few moments of another player's life so you can see how they died (watch this for an example). This is extremely useful in such an unforgivingly brutal world. You approach a blind corner, see a bloodstain on the ground and decide to touch it. A red ghost appears, runs around the blind corner, and then moments later comes running back only to keel over and die. That lets you know that there's something waiting around the corner. It's an absolutely brilliant mechanic, in that it can forewarn you about something without having the developer's resort to a sign or an NPC saying "hey you need to be careful ahead".

In addition to the bloodstain feature is a system in which other players can leave short messages scrawled on the ground that give you hints as to what to expect. It might say "Beware of the enemy ambush ahead" giving you yet another leg up. Coupled with this a recommendation system where you can recommend a message if you find it useful. The more people who recommend a message, the more likely it is to remain there, and every time someone recommends one of your messages you get a small health boost. It's an ingeniously wonderful system.

I haven't even begun to talk about the game world itself. It's a bleak, imposing world that marries elements of horror with traditional fantasy/Tolkien tropes. All the names have a decidedly Eastern European flavor to them (Boletaria, Vingard, etc.), plus there's a bit of Lovecraftian horror going on (such as the final boss known as 'the Great Old One' who looks suspiciously Cthulhu-esque). The various bosses have equally imposing names: The Adjudicator, Dirty Colossus, Maneater, Maiden Astraea, The Old Hero. The design of the various castles and settings really does evoke a sort of foggy-streets-of-Prague-at-night feeling. Overall, it's a wonderfully terrific atmosphere that further adds to the feeling of misery and gloom.

So, there you have it. Demon's Souls is a fantastic game that ignores traditional game mechanisms while bringing some wonderfully new mechanics along. When you finally manage to make your way through a forbidding castle, careful every step of the way, and manage to defeat the boss at the end, the game truly makes you feel a sense of accomplishment few other games can achieve. It's not hard for me to say that Demon's Souls is not only my favorite game of 2009, but one of my favorite games of all time.

Zrbo's Favorite TV Shows of the 00s

Back now with another 'Best of' list. This time, instead of the focus being on delightful videos, I've decided to write about something marginally more substantial - television! (applause) Warning: spoilers ahead!

After countless hours of soul-searching I've compiled a list of my top 5 shows of the zeros/2000s/aughts/naughts or whatever term you prefer to reference the last decade. So let's get things moving shall we?

Doctor Who

Ok, let's just be honest here. I'm a bit of a sci-fi geek, and you're going to see some sci-fi on this list whether you like it or not. And here it is, first up to bat is Doctor Who! Who's Doctor Who? Well, the show (or serial) started all the way back in the damn 60s on the BBC. Essentially it's about the titular character, usually just referred to as "the Doctor", who, as the last surviving time-lord, travels through time and space in his TARDIS (which due to a mishap with it's chameleon circuit is stuck permanently in a 1950s style British police box). I used to watch the show when I was a kid until it disappeared in the early 90s. Earlier this past decade the BBC decided to revive it, and I have to say, it's arguably better than it ever was before.

What makes Doctor Who great sci-fi is it's use of interesting concepts and ideas to examine the human condition. Unlike a lot of modern sci-fi though, Doctor Who eschews explanation in favor of more "big idea" concepts. For example, what if there was a world where everyone was stuck in an eternal traffic jam? Or what if reality TV took over to such an extent that everyone was in a reality show all the time, without their consent, and the penalty for losing was death? Doctor Who takes these novelty situations and explores how we might react to them.

There's several notable aspects of Doctor Who that make the show what it is. One of those is the Doctor and his complete and utter pacifism. Unlike most (American) sci-fi, the Doctor doesn't run around with machine guns or lasers and makes it a point to never, ever kill. It's an interesting facet that gets explored quite regularly, especially in the current Doctor's farewell episode "The End of Time" where the Doctor's pacifism is put to the limits (by none other than Timothy Dalton playing the bad guy). It makes the Doctor quite the man when, even when staring the most aggressive, nasty alien out there, the Doctor will sit there and try to have a friendly conversation with it.

But that's not to say people never die on Doctor Who. Oh no, people get killed all the time. In fact, pretty much every episode guarantees a death. And the show is great about not giving into any sympathy you might have for its characters, something else we don't usually get in American sci-fi. Some old man who shows up and gives the Doctor directions? The next scene he's probably going to die, I can guarantee it.

Another notable aspect is the changing face of the Doctor. I mentioned above that the recent "End of Time" special was the farewell episode for the current Doctor. From its inception Doctor Who has used the clever device that the Doctor can regenerate his body to allow for different actors to take on the role of the Doctor. This is what's helped given Doctor Who its staying power over the years, it doesn't matter if the current actor is getting old or wants to quit, the Doctor can go on (and that actor can then usually expect little-to-no career after that, such as roles in GI Joe movies).

Finally I have to mention the low budget look of Doctor Who. Yes, the sets, costumes and effects are decidedly low budget, but once you start watching, it doesn't really matter. Once you're hooked by the story you hardly notice the cheap special effects, and frankly it gives the show a lot of its charm. Just use your imagination buddy.

Favorite Episodes:

"New Earth" - In the reboot the Doctor brings along a new travelling companion, an Earth girl named Rose (played by Billie Piper), and asks her where she'd like to visit. She wants to go to the final day of Earth, so off they go to the far future on the day the Earth is swallowed by the sun going supernova. On a spaceship cruise liner they meet trees which have evolved sentience and the last human being who's had so many plastic surgeries that she's literally a piece of tight skin with a face, the whole situation seems to be a nod to Douglas Adams' Restaurant at the end of the Universe. A great way to kick off the new show.

"Blink" - Perhaps the best and scariest episode to date. Starring An Education's Carey Mulligan, the show barely features the Doctor, instead exploring an amazing time-travel trick the likes of what hasn't been seen since Marty went back to the dance in Back to the Future Part II.

Battlestar Galactica

I've pretty much already said my piece on Battlestar here. The remake of Battlestar Galactica was the perfect show for a post 9/11 world. It told the story of an unsuspecting civilization about to have their lives turned upside down by a great calamity. The enemies? They're nearly indistinguishable from us. Their motives? They speak of the one true god who wants them to smite us for our sins. Sound familiar?

Favorite Episodes:

"33" - The first real episode after the initial mini-series starts off in medias res as the Galactica finds that no matter what they do the Cylons catch up to them every 33 minutes. High tension right out of the starting gate.

"Pegasus" - The Galactica comes across another surviving ship, the Battlestar Pegasus, where their cries of joy slowly change to cries of horror as the crew learns that the Pegasus hasn't been keeping the same sense of ethics and morality as themselves.

"Precipice" - The Cylons finally get the humans and are holding their colony of New Caprica captive. The Cylons say they just want to bring peace and understanding. The humans don't buy it and begin suicide bombings against the Cylons and against the Cylon instituted human police force. A direct commentary on Iraq and suicide bombings, this episode turns the situation around so that we're the suicide bombers. Chilling.

"Exodous Part II" - Eventually the Galactica comes along to save the Cylon occupied New Caprica. Commander Adama, played by Edward James Olmos, pulls off one of the greatest military maneuvers of all time, putting him up there with Captain Kirk and his triumph over the Kobayashi Maru. It's now affectionately called 'the Adama Maneuver'.

The Wire

TV critics will tell you that The Wire is the greatest show of all time. They might be right. The Wire takes a look at modern day society and its institutions and basically shows you that "this isn't working". From the police in the precincts to the thugs on the street, The Wire has a sense of realism that no other show has. It's almost like watching a documentary at times. The characters are nuanced, shades of gray in a world that we've been told by other shows is black and white. The cops aren't the greatest of people, most just want to work undisturbed to get their promotions and pensions. The corner boys selling drugs aren't the greatest of people, most just want to work undisturbed to earn their money. You see where this is going? Nearly all of the characters have something to teach us, whether it's the questionable city councilman Carcetti or the homeless drug addict Bubs.

The show examines the city of Baltimore from multiple fronts, giving you the impression that this is a real place, and not just some idealized version. The first season shows us how drug dealers operate and the futility of the war on drugs. The second season switches focus to the docks and the workers there who've seen their industry fade over the past 50 years. The third season goes back to the dealers and creates a nearly Shakespearean setup. The fourth season examines the schooling system and how inner city schools are just training grounds for life on the streets. The final season enters the newsroom, where we see how newspapers make (and make up) and break these other stories, and how our impression of these stories are colored by what we read.

A few notable things about The Wire. It can take a while to get into. It's not like other cop shows on TV where they throw you into the action to grab your attention. You'll watch the first few episodes asking yourself "is this it?". Instead, the show is more like a book, it slowly builds it's characters and works towards a conclusion. For example, in a typical CSI episode they might say "we need to get a wire tap on the suspect to see if he's the murderer" and BAM! in the next scene they're listening in on the bad guy's conversation. In The Wire, the entire first season is just about getting one lousy wiretap and all the trouble and bureaucracy the police have to go through to get it.

I should also mention the music of The Wire. It's interesting because there really isn't any music. Well, really all the the music is diagetic, if you hear music it's because it's coming from within the world - a car radio for example. Not only does it help add to the realism of the show, but it helps in that the lack of a traditional soundtrack means our impressions aren't influenced by what we're hearing. We're not told "this is a sad scene" or "you should be happy now". Also worth mentioning is the opening song. The creators of the show took Tom Waits' "Way Down in the Hole" and had it performed by a different artist each season. The first season features a bluesy version by the Blind Boys of Alabama, second season's was done by Waits himself, the third season by the Neville Brothers, the fourth season features a hip-hop version, and the final fifth season by Steve Earle (who also plays a character on the show).

Favorite Episodes:

"Middle Ground" - The Wire isn't afraid to kill off its major characters. I also said the third season was like Shakespeare. This is the penultimate episode of that season where one of the major characters finally meets his demise. Such an amazing ending to a fantastic story arc (especially with the addition of the pigeons for added effect). If you're interested, watch it here.

The Fuck Scene - Ok, so there's no sex involved, just the word 'Fuck' and all of it's colorful uses. This is one of those rare scenes in The Wire that's just all humor. I don't want you to think this is a typical scene from The Wire, it's anything but. But damn, is it funny.

Mark Cronin and Chris Abrego reality shows (Flavor of Love, Surreal Life, Rock of Love, etc.)

Before you snicker, hear me out. We're all familiar with reality shows at this point, especially dating-oriented ones such as The Bachelor. In shows such as The Bachelor the audience is led to believe that if you put a bunch of girls together and give them two weeks to try to woo a guy, that they'll find true love, get married, and go live happily ever after. Needless to say, that never, ever happens.

Mark Cronin and Chris Abrego realize this. Instead, they've carefully crafted a series of reality shows that essentially mock the traditional reality show. Cronin and Abrego know we're savvy enough to realize that the chance of anyone finding love is pretty slim. Instead they give us what I'd call 'post-reality television'. They cast the weirdest, zaniest people, throw them in a mansion stocked with plenty of alcohol, and let the cameras film the ensuing chaos. Oh, there's usually some pretense that they are there for love. But the real trick is in the editing. The show constantly mocks its own contestants, so that, say, whenever the stripper with the thick French accent speaks, they put up hilarious faux-subtitles.

What's amazing about these shows (all on VH1, did I mention?) is how they're essentially spin-offs of spin-offs. For example, the recently premiered 'Frank the Entertainer in a Basement Affair' is a spin-off of 'I Love New York', which is a spin-off of 'Flavor of Love', which is a spin-off of 'Strange Love' (with Brigitte Nielsen), which is a spin-off of 'The Surreal Life'. Mark and Chris have manufactured a small army of reality show personalities, giving the most popular their own shows. Do these people deserve our time? Not really. Are the shows tasteless? Yes. But not including these shows as my favorite would be like not highlighting The Jerry Springer Show when looking back at 90s television. We all groan at how trashy the people are, but really, we're all relieved to know there's people a lot worse than us out there. And it makes for fine entertainment.

Lost

Of all the shows from the 00s ABC's 'Lost' is by far my favorite. What I originally thought was some sort of scripted 'Survivor' turned out to be anything but. Instead, it's a grand mystery that just happens to take place on an island. On one level Lost is a basic mystery show, on another level it is a labyrinthine epic which fans can lose hours arguing over the significance of the copy of The Brothers Karamazov that happened to be laying on a table in some scene.

Lost is perhaps the first truly 21st century show. Moments after any episode of Lost premieres, legions of fans take to the internet to try to decipher what they just saw. A show like Lost couldn't have existed 10 years ago. It relies on the 'meta' aspects of the show to keep the mystery going. Half of the fun is just discussing with others what it all means. You could get lost (no pun intended) for hours on Lostpedia keeping track of all the characters, their motivations, and their relationships to each other. Sometimes the mysteries don't even come from the show, but from the various viral marketing campaigns and 'alternate reality games' that take place in the Lost universe. For example, the meaning of the infamous numbers have never been explained in the show, but if you've paid attention to the 'meta' aspects of the show (such as 'The Lost experience'), you might know what they mean.

I like to think of Lost as the thinking man's show. For example, nearly every week the character Sawyer (a modern day take on the Han Solo type) is usually reading a book, and fans love to dissect the significance of whatever he's reading, whether it be the aforementioned Brothers Karamazov, The Fountainhead, or, in a more comical moment Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. Or take the names of some of the characters, John Locke, Rousseau, Hawking. It's like the creators of the show are just begging us to look for deeper significance, and in what makes the show work so wonderfully, you, along with thousands of others on the internet, can look for and discuss that significance.

Favorite Episodes:

"Pilot, Part 1" - The original pilot is still one of the most riveting episodes. From the plane crash to the mysterious noises coming out of the jungle, I quickly realized this was not going to be 'Survivor: the Sitcom'. What really sealed the deal for me was when the characters finally get the radio to work only to hear a looped distress signal in French repeating over and over again "I'm on the island alone. The others are dead. It killed them all. Please help."

"The Other 48 Days" - In the second season we are introduced to another group of survivors from the tail section of the plane who ended up on the other side of the island. This episode shows that their experience wasn't quite as nice as our other survivors. A freaky episode full of lots of tension.

"Through the Looking Glass" - The third season finale was a real doozy. The show uses flashbacks to show what each of the characters were doing before they arrived on the island. This episode turns all that around in one of the greatest feats of writing the show has ever had. When it all comes together in that final scene outside the airport, it's just such a 'Wow!' moment.

"Man of Science, Man of Faith" - The entire first season revolved around a mysterious hatch found buried in the ground. At the end of season 1 the characters blow open the hatch. It wouldn't be until season 2 that we get to see what's inside it. In what can only be described as the biggest twist since we realized Bruce Willis was a ghost (OMG!) we get perhaps my favorite opener of any show ever, all set to The Mamas and the Papas Make Your Own Kind of Music. Brilliant.

Best of 2009: The Videos

So here we are, we've made it to the end of another year (and another decade, but we can save that for a later post). I thought I'd kick off the Cosmic American's look back at the year with a look at some of the funnier clips you may have missed.

First up is the Literal Video Version of Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart. Literal Videos take a music video (preferably from the 80s) and change the lyrics to match what we're seeing in the video. Just watch the above version and you'll get what I mean.

Next up is "Mall Kick". I originally saw this one on my new favorite show on Comedy Central "Tosh.0". It involves a European reality show where some guy is trying to throw a net over unsuspecting people in the mall - with the most unexpected (read: hilarious) results. I'll just let Daniel Tosh explain it:

Tosh.0
Breakdown - Mall Kick
www.comedycentral.com
Web Redemption 2 Girls, 1 Cup Reaction Demi Moore Picture

Let's not forget the drunk guy buying beer:

Or the Talking Kitty (or Lizard if you prefer):

Ah, 2009! What a year. Not only did we get all these amazing videos above, but we covered some right here at the Cosmic American, such as that awful guy singing or the Muppets doing Bohemian Rhapsody. We also took a look at the Kanye West/Taylor Swift interruption moment and the countless parody videos. I learned the importance of not copying digital media. We had some good times with Jimmy Fallon, Brett Michaels, and a Cool Cat. And lastly, we saw just how cool Ron Howard was when we was up in the club. Thank you 2009 for all the crap you've given us.