Two Brief Thoughts On The 2016 Presidential Election

And now back to our regularly-scheduled programming.

Why Are People So Stupid?

Ok, this is really more of me ranting about some pet peeves I have, but everyday of my life I seem to encounter the stupidest people. Sometimes I'm tempted to directly confront these foolish fools to ask them the reasoning behind their actions. Now, I'm sure there's stuff I do that pisses people off, but sometimes it's hard not to think I'm the only sane person on this planet. Here's a few examples of what I'm talking about:

- This guy at my work cannot, for the life of him, park his car into a parking spot properly. Maybe he found a way to break the conditioning when he was learning to drive, but 4/5 days of the week I come into work this bozo has parked his car in such a way that he's taken up two parking spots. No, not just in a just-barely-over-the-line kind of way, I'm talking about lining the center of his car up with the white line so that he's equally taking up two whole spots. Who is this guy? Did he not get the memo on how to park, is it really that difficult to figure out??

- People who don't use their goddamned turn-signals. Like I'm supposed to have a psychic connection that you wanted to merge in front of me. It's even worse when they use their turn-signal and DON'T go the direction they're indicating. I got pulled over by a cop once when I was turning left at an intersection and the car coming in the opposite direction had his right turn signal on, so I foolishly presumed that he would turn, but instead he continued to go straight as I turned in front of him, honking at me like I was the one to blame. The cop, sitting at an angle where he couldn't see our turn signals, thought I had turned in front of the guy going straight without yielding first, and proceeded to pull me over. Please, when driving use your turn signal and use it properly!

- As I'm using the urinal at work to relieve myself another co-worker walks in and waits for me to finish up. I do so and flush the urinal. Then he walks over and flushes it again before commencing. Hey buddy, I just flushed it, did you not hear the big whoosh sound it made? Or is your pee some Dalai-Lama holy water that needs to be placed in a properly cleaned receptacle? It's just piss you idiot, I didn't even need to flush the urinal since I knew you were behind me, but I did it out of courtesy. So collectively we just wasted a few gallons of water and you know there ain't much water around these days?

- People who claim that global warming/evolution/the Holocaust aren't real. Ok, for the first two items I can understand that we probably don't yet fully understand everything about how global warming works and whose responsible, or if darwinism is entirely correct, but to just flat-out deny thousands of scientists by calling their work "junk science" is just idiotic to me. Like you know any better than these guys because your spidey-sense tells you so. As for the third item, go back to I'm-not-really-an-anti-semite!-ville idiot.

(I apologize for my vitriol today, it must be the water or something)

Herr Zrbo's Newest Favoritest Blog*

Herr Zrbo's got a new favorite blog in town. Not content to sit here all day dreaming of Ladies of 280 or of TV anchor babes, yours truly has discovered Failblog. It's really nothing new, it's just America's Funniest Home Videos (or Jay Leno's 'Headlines') updated for the youtube generation, but boy oh boy, is it hilarious! I've spent many hours of my time at work chuckling away at whatever Failblog has to offer. Take the example up above, HILARITY! You can find all sorts of ridiculous stuff on this site. Like this one, for example, taken from a Dear Abby column:

"Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his."

Good times, good times.

*This title is meant to reflect a fail

Jimmy Fallon to Become Katie Couric of Late Night TV

Just read that they've decided to give Conan O'Brien's spot to Jimmy Fallon when O'Brien takes over for Jay Leno next year. Seriously, this guy is supposed to fill Conan O'Brien's spot?? I'm just utterly baffled. Does anyone like Jimmy Fallon? I just don't find him funny one single iota. Zip, zilch, do not pass Go. I thought they'd pick Jimmy Kimmel at least, or is he replacing Letterman? I'm not a big fan of Kimmel either, but goodness gracious he looks like Johnny Carson compared to Fallon.

I don't think anyone's going to watch Late Night anymore. Fallon will become the Katie Couric of late night TV. Zero audience. Go back to making farting noises during the SNL weekly update Fallon. I, for one, will not be watching.