Thursday, May 7, 2009

Fun With MSN

1) Readings Show Four Corners Marker Off By 2.5 Miles
The only place in the United States where four state boundaries come together was first surveyed by the government in 1868 during the initial survey of Colorado's southern boundary. The survey was inaccurate. Officials said Monday the accurate location lies to the east of U.S. 160 in Colorado and northeast of the San Juan River as it flows into New Mexico.
Well come on! It's in the middle of the fucking desert. What did you expect? I mean how could they have ever mistaken one arid, generic, barren patch of soil for another? I have been there my friends, and let me tell you, it is the buttfuck of nowhere. I'll bet the surveyor probably figured, "Hell, I'll just give it a nice good throw and we'll call it a day." However, those of you who now doubt if you've ever really placed yourself within the boundaries of Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico all at the same time, do not fear. According to Wikipedia, this report is mistaken and the marker is at most only 1,807 feet off. Apparently "the reference point used by the U.S. Congress at the time [1875] was the Washington Meridian, which has an offset from the modern reference, the Prime Meridian...this offset is often missed by those not familiar with the history of American surveying." (I'm looking at you, Associated Press.) Besides, it's all irrelevant, as "general U.S. land principles, law, and the Supreme Court have established that the location of the monument is the legal corner of the four states." Ladies and gentlemen, the American judicial system at work.

2) Microbe-Powered 'Fart' Machine Stores Energy
It works like this: giving small jolts of electricity to single-celled microorganisms known as archea prompts them to remove C02 from the air and turn it into methane, released as tiny "farts." The methane, in turn, can be used to power fuel cells or to store the electrical energy chemically until its needed. doesn't really "fart" at all. Disappointing. To quote Troy McClure: "This could be the most flagrant case of false advertising since The Neverending Story."

3) Giant Mystery Blob Found Near Dawn Of Time

Say what now?


Herr Zrbo said...

I think you've got your Simpsons characters wrong. I *think* that was said by Lionel Hutz, not Troy McClure. Both Phil Hartman though.

Little Earl said...

So you can understand my error.

Herr Zrbo said...

I demand perfection, nothing less.

yoggoth said...

Am I the only one who feels a certain strange connection to the Giant Mystery Blob?

Anonymous said...

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