Monday, October 7, 2013

The Go-Go's Take Amsterdam AKA Adventures With "Jeff Jetsetter" (Bonus Post: Go-Go's Down Under)

The Go-Go's. Amsterdam. A fifty-year-old French man. This blog post pretty much writes itself. From Lips Unsealed:
I arrived with the intention of having a good time. But I was run-down and needed to rejuvenate. So, soon after checking into our hotel, the Sonesta, I corralled Charlotte into going to the health club with me. I thought a soak in the hot tubs and a massage would do the trick ... At the desk, the attendant informed us of the club's policy: We had to take off all our clothes ... Charlotte and I looked at each other and said what the hell ... We didn't even consider the spa might be co-ed - that is, until a French man in his fifties sauntered up to our hot tub. He arrived just as we were starting to relax and gazed down discerningly at us. (We also looked up discerningly.) After a moment, he joined us.

"So where are you girls from?" he said in heavily accented English.

"America," we said.

"I'm going to guess how old you are," he said. "Twenty-five or twenty-six?"

Charlotte nodded.

"How'd you know?" I asked.

"I can tell by your bodies," he said.

It became an endurance contest: Which of us could tolerate the hot water the longest, the two of us or our new friend, whom we nicknamed Jeff Jetsetter.
As we began to shrivel up like vegetables in a pot of simmering soup, Jeff invited us up to his room that night.

"I have a big penthouse," he said.

Charlotte and I traded looks that spoke volumes. We were at a loss for how to politely say thanks, but no thanks. Sensing our wariness, he quickly added, "I also have champagne and cocaine."
Looks like Jeff said the magic word.
"Cocaine?" I said.

He nodded.

"How much do you have?" I asked.

He smiled. "A lot."

"Okay, we'll come up," I said.

With a satisfied nod, he stepped out of the hot tub and said he'd see us later. When the coast was clear, Charlotte said that was weird. I shrugged. Weird was relative. We were in Amsterdam.
See, Charlotte, somebody knows how to roll with the flow here.
Later that night, the five of us went up to Jeff Jetsetter's penthouse. It was magnificent. As promised, he had a ton of blow. He was extremely generous, too, but before long I saw what Jeff had in mind. He put it right out there. He wanted to have sex with us. I was equally blunt, as were the others. It wasn't going to happen.

Buoyed by drugs, booze, and his intense desire to get laid, he refused to give up. He tried charm, jokes, gestures, and direct invitations. He brought out a suitcase full of sex toys. He thought he was being romantic ... I finally said, "We aren't going to screw you. Just give us the drugs."
Could somebody please tell me why this was not the name of the Go-Go's' next album? We Aren't Going To Screw You, Just Give Us The Drugs: now available on I.R.S. Records. Beats Talk Show.
Something clearly got lost in the translation. That or he was just thick. It turned into a pretty comical scene. He kept going into the palatial bathroom, filling up the tub with bubble bath, and lighting candles. He came out each time grinning mischievously, perhaps hopefully, announcing it was almost ready for us. Then one of us went in there, blew out the candles, emptied the tub, and turned on the lights. We were terrible. This went on for two days.
Two days??? Oh you have got to be kidding me. I thought she was going to say "two hours." And they probably shouldn't have even been hanging out with this guy for more than two minutes.

Ah, but who am I to judge? At any rate, I thought about posting a track from Vacation to commemorate the Go-Go's' little run-in with this horny French lothario, but I didn't really see a good fit. I could have gone with "He's So Strange," but I already posted the earlier, punkier version a few months back, so I should probably leave that one alone. I could have gone with their cover of the Capitols' "Cool Jerk," but Jeff Jetsetter wasn't exactly "cool," and, come to think of it, he wasn't really much of a "jerk" either. I could re-post "Get Up and Go," given that the girls may have wanted to do exactly that ... except for the fact that they actually stuck around to humor the guy.

Instead, here are a couple of clips from the band's appearance on Countdown, the Australian equivalent of Solid Gold, featuring a male host by the name of ... Molly? Well, everything's a little funny down there. I wonder who the special guest hosts are going to be tonight? Well I do declare: it's the Go-Go's! Our five foxy females manage to introduce hit videos from Huey Lewis and the News (the soon-to-be-discussed "Do You Believe In Love?"), Joan Jett (Belinda's thoughts on "Crimson and Clover": "It's great, it's really good..."), Altered Images, and ... Stevie Smash? Jane and Gina actually sound like they have opinions on the music and don't just want to sit there and be music industry puppets, while Charlotte flubs most of her lines, and an equally dazed Belinda still manages to read from a cue card without making a spectacle of herself. Molly even makes a couple of digs at the week's #1 single, Charlene's hilariously mawkish "I've Never Been To Me."

So what happens when our spunky hosts take the Countdown stage (magically introduced by Tina Turner, several weeks later)? Despite the Aerobic Rock tunic and earrings the size of a basketball hoop, Belinda is still radiating some seriously sensual lip-syncing magic here. A few of my fellow viewers happen to agree:
Belinda was & is such a pritty kitty kat girl from SoCal. Purrrrrrrrr She has such a little upturn nose & cute/gorgeous blue eyes. Any negative replies will be ignored.

Belinda was an all american cutie pie. And I do agree that she was a little thick in her younger days but when she went solo and slightly aged she blossomed into a ravishingly beautiful woman and still looks great to this day. Hey I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

Sorry Belinda, I have told only one other women that she is the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. But it wasn't true. You are simply perfect to me and you are the benchmark or for every woman i have ever met in my life. a tough act to follow for them darling. Woooh wiii!!!
Well, I don't know about that. Even Jeff Jetsetter probably wouldn't go that far.

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