Thursday, September 3, 2009

Oasis Leaves Oasis

Well, the official headline is "Noel Gallagher Leaves Oasis." But I find this headline rather comical, for a number of reasons:

1) Noel Gallagher is Oasis. It's like a headline saying, "Pete Townsend leaves The Who." What, is Roger Daltry going to go on tour with a bunch of friends and bill himself as The Who? The real headline should be, "Oasis breaks up." Just because you're finally writing songs Liam doesn't mean you can be the leader of Oasis. Sorry.

2) Noel Gallagher has "left" Oasis several times before. Soon the phrase "boy who cried wolf" will fall out of usage; it will be replaced by "Noel who cried Fuck Liam." How seriously can you really take this "announcement"?

3) Why now? First of all, it's not like Liam has "suddenly" become an unbearable prick. He's always been an unbearable prick. What was it, Noel, that finally, after all these years, pushed you over the edge? Did you ask him to pass the mashed potatoes only to hear "Go stick these mashed potatoes up yer fuckin' arse?" What was the straw that broke the camel's back? Inquiring minds want to know. Second, why couldn't you haven broken up when people really cared? Why now and not, perhaps, 1998? In the opinion of many (including myself), Oasis haven't really been "Oasis" since the release of (What's The Story) Morning Glory. Just not the same band. The Rolling Stones have been calling themselves The Rolling Stones long after, oh, I'd say somewhere around Tattoo You, but they haven't really been The Rolling Stones we think of when we think of "The Rolling Stones." After some initial disappointment, I actually came to enjoy Oasis' 2000 album Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants, but, Stephen Thomas Erlewine's exhortations of an artistic "comeback" to the contrary, I've found that every Oasis album since seems to be worse than the one before. Overwrought production. Cliched lyrics. And most shockingly of all, no sense of humor. Look, Noel: book a studio, take some drugs, and give us a wacky solo album. Your moment has arrived.

1 comment:

Herr Zrbo said...

When I saw this headline I thought of what you'd might say LE. It really is a boy-who-cried-wolf news story for sure. It's akin to 'Whitney leaves Bobby' or 'Liz Taylor gets married'.