The Abolition of Loneliness

In an otherwise unremarkable review of Elizabeth Edwards' new book (not exactly at the top of my list), Christopher Hitchens writes of the internet,

"The importance of this medium in bringing about a great unspoken social reform—the abolition of loneliness—has not to my knowledge been better evoked."

That's not exactly how I'd describe the Internet's effects, abolition is a strong word after all. Still, I must admit that is one of its major appeals for me, along with the abolition of boredom and the quenching of curiosity.

And what a name for a Slouching Towards Bethlehem-style social dissection!


P.S. I found this by way of Mickey Kaus, who continues to nitpickingly celebrate the fact that he was right about the Edwards affair when many others were denying its possibility. And he deserves some credit for that. Just imagine that news breaking a month after an Edwards win at the Democratic National Convention.

Zrbo Doesn't Survive the Layoffs

Well folks, my turn in everyone's favorite Holocaust poem has come. They finally came for me. It's true. Maybe it was all the time I spent writing on this blog during work, maybe it was not having any enthusiasm for the job, or maybe it's because my manager didn't know how to manage, but I have been officially let go. Time to go line up and get my bread and soup. Hey, at least they gave me some severance pay!

Inglourious Basterds (Gilgamesh, 1793)

I'll start with the rating so you don't have to read this if you don't want to.

Yoggoth rating*: ***
Little Earl Rating: **1/2
herr zrbo rating: **

That's right, I reviewed it for the other guys too.

Inglourious Basterds is a collection of Quinten Tarantino's fantasy World War II movie scenes and characters. It's organized into six chapters and isn't long on dextrous segues. I don't know what your opinion of Tarantino is, but mine's pretty damn high. Best living director? When a few more old guys drop off, quite likely.

I was reading David Foster Wallace's article about David Lynch in A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again the other day. He said something like, David Lynch did this and it's sufficiently entered the zietgeist that Tarantino et posse can rip it off. Look Wallace, I know you're dead and that's too bad but maybe if you spent more time watching Pulp Fiction and less time watching Eraserhead you might not have hung yourself.

Back on point, Inglorious Basterds is an odd war movie. Not only is it completely ahistorical in the details, it alters the historical timeline drastically. You could call it an alternate history war movie. And in this alternate reality the jews fight back, cinephiles wreak cosmic vengance aginst an uncaring world, and American heroes justify their cruelty with an unflinching dedication to justice. Traditional war movies are justified in their violence for entertainment trade by appeals to attenuated arguments such as: if we just knew the cruelties of war we wouldn't wage it, we must confront the evil done in our names, and we must understand evil to contain it. Ingloriuos Bastards doesn't work that way. Instead we get almost gleeful (yet somewhat infrequent by modern standards) depictions of scalping, bludgeoning, and point-blank-machine-gunning-to-the-face. The morality, you see, is in the differences between Englurous Basdards and reality. Tarantino gives us the action and violence he and we so obviously crave in the midst of fantasy world just a bit more moral than our own. The closest comparison I can think of is Casablanca, another movie that sacrificed historical fact for the sake of morality. So if you see any wayward Nazis on your trip home from work today, carve a swastika into their forehead and tell 'em the world just won't stand for that sort of thing. At least not Tarantino's world.

Wonderful Headlines

Just now on the little bar below the Slate main story:

"XX: I Wish My Slutty Christian Friend Would Stop Praising My Virginity." Along with a picture of a cute blond woman.

In some crazy cosmic contest for headlines guaranteed to be far better than their stories this gets my vote.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Rowling, 2005)

It was the summer of 2002 and I was staying with a college friend at her aunt's house in Leiden, a small town halfway between the Hague and Amsterdam. One morning everyone left early to go into town to run errands and I was left with nothing to do. Scanning the bookshelves I saw this book lying there that everyone had been talking about, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. It looked like something that would be an easy read, it was a kids book after all. By the time I was ready to leave to fly back home a few days later I was already two-thirds through and was so enthralled I bought my own copy at the airport so I could read the rest on my way home. Thus was born my love for the Harry Potter series.

Soon the film version of the book came out and I eagerly went to see it, only to be let down as the movie, while good, simply could not do the book justice. Sure it went through the major plot points and got the fantasy and whimsical elements down fairly well, but the film lacked the nuances of the various characters personalities, their motivations, Harry's inner thoughts, and the all-too-important "just one more page" feeling the book invoked. This became a personal tradition of mine, read the book soon before the film was to be released and then compare the two. Honestly it hasn't been much fun, because the films have always disappointed me. They lack the depth and imagination of the books, and because they are constrained by time they leave what I consider vital motivations behind (such as in Chamber of Secrets - the film completely discards Ginny's motivations).

I've yet to see the new film, but I did just finish reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, the penultimate book in the series, and I have to say, it was hands down the best book in the series yet, and is overall the best book I've read in quite some time. The book has a rather subtle plot - while there are several mysteries the characters are trying to figure out over the course of the book, none of them ever seemed to jump to the forefront. Instead the story was more of a character study, delving into the main characters' wants, desires, and even love lives. Without giving too much away, J.K. Rowling reels the reader in with segments that explore just who Lord Voldemort is and how he came to be. It was also fascinating how seamlessly she brought in events from the previous books and gave them startlingly new relevance. Before I knew it I was nearly done with book, and there hadn't been nary a fight or action segment.

Unfortunately the ending had already been spoiled for me, there is a rather now-famous death scene that had been spoiled by friends/the internet/TV - pretty much everybody. But that didn't matter because it was the scene before that which really grabbed me. I won't say too much, but the part with the cave and the lake and all that ensues in that scene was the most frightening thing I've possibly ever read. I mean, I literally had to put the book down because I was actually dreading having to read the next paragraph. I can't possibly imagine they'll be able to pull off this scene adequately in the film, but I'm intrigued to see if they can. From start to finish that was hands down the best chapter of the whole series.

Then there's the end, which, as I said before, I already knew about, and was also fantastic, but probably not as fantastic as I wanted it to be. The book certainly ends with a very somber tone, but I know it's all a setup for the final installment, which I'll read next year before the next film hits theaters, which I hear they've split into two separate parts. I'm excited to see them try to pull it off.

An Onion Story for Little Earl

Newly Discovered Recordings Reveal Beatles Actually Terrible Group:

"'These songs are awful. That one sax solo alone has utterly negated the genius of Magical Mystery Tour and Rubber Soul combined. Certainly this missing link goes a long way toward explaining their solo careers.' In reaction to the discovery, Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys has shown dramatic signs of improved mental health."

Now we know why Little Earl is nervous about reissues and Beatles video games! Ignorance is bliss, eh?

The Hurt Locker (Bigelow)

Sadly, this is not a film about a moody high school football star and his tempestuous relationship with a metal compartment.

Honestly, what kind of a title is that? Not a very promising one, it seemed to me, but after several reviewers called the film "the first great movie about the Iraq War," I figured I might as well give it a shot. But what's the competition? Redacted? In The Valley Of Elah? Stop Loss? None of which are movies I have seen, of course, and in that regard I am not alone. Something about "Iraq War movie" just screams "yes" to certain Hollywood directors and "no" to me. My concern is: what is this movie going to tell me that I don't already know? Look: I didn't really think the Iraq War was a good idea. But nobody asked me what I thought, and I can't really do anything about it, so I really don't want to dwell on it in particular. It's not that I can't handle "difficult" material, or that I'd rather see G.I. Joe instead. I just don't think I'm going to get much out of it.

Here is what I will say about The Hurt Locker: it was very credible, realistic, and understated. I think the reason critics are calling it "the first great Iraq War movie" is because it is not preachy or heavy-handed. There is no obvious message. The main character, in fact, loves being in Iraq. So why have I completely forgotten about it until the composition of this review? I blame, once again, that shitty, "hand-held" cinematography. I don't like that look. It. Looks. Like. Crap. You can make a "realistic" movie that doesn't look like a low-budget documentary. I'm starting to think that the cinematography can make or break a movie for me. Are there any classic movies that are classic despite their sub-standard cinematography? I can't think of any.

Mostly The Hurt Locker made me realize how much I liked Sam Mendes' Jarhead. For some reason critics really ripped on Jarhead when it came out in 2005, but I thought it was hilarious and surreal and full of loads of off-handed insight into the American military mentality (even though it was actually about the first Persian Gulf War). Oh, and it also had great cinematography. The Hurt Locker mostly made me think, "OK, I'm glad there's not a draft and I don't have to do what this guy does." I figured that out in about five minutes, unfortunately.

Liberal guilt, I'm looking at you. Hopefully Kathryn Bigelow was not sitting around thinking, "I'm living a rich a comfortable life in California while other people are dodging suicide bombers in Baghdad. What can I do to make a difference?" That motivation does not a good movie make. I like movies that stem more from a filmmakers' own personal identification with their material. Not from, you know, their guilt.

Film critic rating: ***
Little Earl rating: *1/2

Full Beatles: Rock Band Setlist Revealed

While not wholly confirmed yet, here's the leaked setlist for all songs that will be included in the upcoming The Beatles: Rock Band game. It was already announced previously that several whole albums will be released later as pay-for DLC including Rubber Soul, Sgt. Pepper's and Abbey Road. I propose a Cosmic American get together when it drops September 9th.

Singles
I Want To Hold Your Hand
I Feel Fine
Day Tripper
Paperback Writer
Revolution
Don't Let Me Down

Please Please Me (1963)
I Saw Her Standing There
Boys
Do You Want To Know A Secret
Twist and Shout

With the Beatles (1963)
I Wanna Be Your Man

A Hard Day's Night (1964)
A Hard Day's Night
Can't Buy Me Love

Beatles For Sale (1964)
Eight Days a Week

Help! (1965)
Ticket To Ride

Rubber Soul (1965)
Drive My Car
I'm Looking Through You
If I Needed Someone

Revolver (1966)
Taxman
Yellow Submarine
And Your Bird Can Sing

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/With a Little Help From My Friends
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds
Getting Better
Good Morning Good Morning

Magical Mystery Tour (1967)
I Am The Walrus
Hello Goodbye

The Beatles (White Album) (1968)
Dear Prudence
Back In the U.S.S.R.
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Birthday
Helter Skelter

Yellow Submarine (1969)
Hey Bulldog

Abbey Road (1969)
Come Together
Something
Octopus's Garden
I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Here Comes the Sun

Let It Be (1970)
Dig a Pony
I Me Mine
I Got a Feeling
Get Back

Love (2006)
Within You Without You/ Tomorrow Never Knows

Richie You Are A Stud Among Studs

Now it's been almost half a year since I last attended an AMG Guy presentation, so I thought I would track down Richie Unterberger's website and see what the world's greatest living '60s rock historian has been up to. Turns out I wouldn't have been able to attend any of his recent presentations anyway. Because he's been in England, promoting his new book on the Velvet Underground. Hell yes. According to his website:

White Light/White Heat: The Velvet Underground Day-By-Day (now available on Jawbone Press), is by far the most comprehensive book on the Velvet Underground ever published. The 368-page volume details the group's recording sessions, record releases, concerts, press reviews, and other major events shaping their career with both thorough detail and critical insight. Drawing on about 100 interviews and exhaustive research through documents and recordings rarely or never accessed, it unearths stories that have seldom been told, and eyewitness accounts that have seldom seen print, from figures ranging from band members to managers, producers, record executives, journalists, concert promoters, and fans.

Not only do I want to see this presentation, I actually want to read this book. Honestly, if they've been taking up time he could be using to write more books like this one, maybe he should give the presentations a little break. But he seems to be balancing his various projects quite skillfully, so perhaps there is no need for concern. Unfortunately, I was not able to catch him at the Westminster Reference Library in Covent Garden, the Hornsey Library in Haringey Park, or the Leytonstone Library at 6 Church Lane, nor was I able to attend his slightly more North American presentations at the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh, the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C., or the Moonstone Arts Center in Philadelphia. Richie gets around.

Ah, but he appears to have saved the best for last, because on September 1 he will be at the Martinez Library in Martinez, California! You can also find him at the Albany Library on October 7, the San Ramon Library on October 8, the El Cerrito Library on October 22, or even (talk about boring) the Ninth Street Independent Film Center in San Francisco on November 19.

Yoggoth, you are not getting out of this one.

That's our Slate!

Ahhh Slate, how you tease me with your headlines. Today John Hughes died. Checking Slate I see they already have an article with the intriguing headline "John Hughes, Closet Republican?". Hmm, this should be interesting, I naively think to myself. And in typical Slate fashion, the article doesn't address the headline at all, and in this case, there's not even an article! There's just a short paragraph announcing his death and a youtube montage clip of moments from the Breakfast Club. Thanks guys, keep up the great writing. Oh, how much do you get paid again?