The Bus Snob

There is a rare breed of creature roaming the Muni lines of this city. You know the type. The man who stands ten feet away from the back seat of the bus and won't let anyone pass him, even though twenty people are trying to squeeze into the back. The woman who sits in the aisle seat with her purse resting on the empty window seat next to her because she values her personal space too much. Well if you're so high and mighty that you can't even let strangers sit next to you unless the bus is really, really full, then what the hell are you doing riding the damn bus anyway lady? If you're so all-important that you can't recognize that there are other people in the world who exist besides you, buddy, then get the hell out of my way because I have the decency to scoot all the way to the back of the fucking bus so that I can make some room for other people to get on. Jesus Christ pal. And don't even let me get started on the people who ask you to open the window for them because "Oh my God, I'm dying on this packed bus and it's so traumatizing I can't even breath unless you open the window for me mister." We all have to ride the crowded bus, none of us likes it, but we do it, so just suffocate and die already.