I Guess R.E.M. Couldn't "Stand" To Take Every Song Of Theirs Too Seriously?

Oh yeahhhhh. These guys.

See, if you want to knock the pop music of 1989, you have to remember that there were also real, thoughtful, ambitious, oddball, flesh-and-blood bands like R.E.M. floating around at the time as well, right out there in broad daylight, for crying out loud. At this point, a band like R.E.M. weren't just having "alternative" hits; they were having "actual" hits. Once the sole province of comic book-collecting Art History majors, R.E.M. were now appealing even to the jocks and cheerleaders who were probably pointing and laughing at long-time R.E.M. fans on their way to the latest pep rally.

I'm glad that "Stand" (which peaked at #6 on the Billboard Hot 100) wasn't R.E.M.'s first top ten hit. Instead, I think it was a perfect "second" hit. Dear God, can you imagine? If "Stand" had been R.E.M.'s first hit, it could have easily sucked them into years of undeserved ridicule from low-information record buyers, like, say, what happened to the Flaming Lips with "She Don't Use Jelly." But because "The One I Love" sounded so firmly like the work of a serious, brooding, fiery, artistically credible rock band, I feel like "Stand" was able to take their whole Southern gothic persona in a lighter direction without derailing that persona entirely. Also: smart move to follow up their goofiest-ever single with a gnarly, riff-heavy, hard-rocking ode to the U.S. government's deadly use of Agent Orange - just in case anyone was about to accuse them of having gone "soft" or "selling out."

Granted, I wasn't around during the Chronic Town days and I can't bitch about having listened to R.E.M. back when they were still "good" in 1982 (*eye roll*), but I feel like R.E.M.'s late '80s move toward greater commercial success came about in a very organic, respectable way, with the band genuinely evolving in a more radio-friendly direction and the radio genuinely evolving in a more "left of the dial" direction simultaneously. I doubt that, during the making of Document and Green, the boys were really sitting around thinking, "All right, we need to write some hits!" - unlike, say, my impression of the Ramones when they recorded End of the Century (and the Ramones would have killed for a hit the size of "Stand"). I was quite surprised to have learned many years ago that R.E.M. had always been somewhat commercially successful even from the get-go, with Murmur charting in the Top 40 and "Radio Free Europe" actually being judged on American Bandstand. Don't believe me? Behold the most mesmerizing, most surreal, most uncategorizeable YouTube clip you will ever lay your eyes on:



What is this? What is going on here? This may be the greatest two minutes of '80s television I have ever seen. If you switched out "Radio Free Europe" with Kool & the Gang's "Celebration" on the audio track and simply observed the visuals in front of you, you would find absolutely nothing amiss. I love every single dancer in this clip. I love the black guy in a tux thrusting his hips forward as if he were grooving to Rick James, I love the white couple on the balcony whose entire style of dancing is simply to flip around 180 degrees over and over again, I love the blonde in high heels and tan short shorts with the impressive, shall we say, derriere, I love the blonde in the referee shirt kickboxing in place - I love every God-given second of this clip. Were these kids thinking about how R.E.M. "marked the shift from post-punk to alternative"? Did these kids know that R.E.M. were "laying the groundwork for a new network of venues that would help kick-start the modern rock revolution"? Oh heyyyll no. They didn't give a shit about any of that. They just wanted to dance! And the song got a 95? Pretty good! The purity of this clip can never be taken away from me.

My point is, you didn't exactly see Husker Du's "New Day Rising" ever getting played on American Bandstand. Still, "Stand" is the kind of song that could have been written by Ren and Stimpy, or perhaps Homer Simpson on a good day, or Lloyd and Harry from Dumb and Dumber on a really good day. (Like a few people my age, my initial exposure to "Stand" was from its use as the theme tune to Chris Elliott's Fox sitcom Get A Life - it suited the "adult trapped in adolescence" attitude of the show so well, I simply assumed it had been composed for that purpose). Like the Tom Tom Club's "Genius of Love" before it, "Stand" is what happens when highly intelligent people write an intentionally dumb song. And it wouldn't be the last time either. See this on-the-nose comment from YouTube: "R.E.M. (1988): 'Stand' is our dumbest song. R.E.M. (1991): (Releases 'Shiny Happy People.') R.E.M. (1991): 'Stand' is no longer our dumbest song."

The herky-jerky organ intro conjures up a playful fairground atmosphere (Being for the benefit of Mr. Stipe!), which Mike Mills promptly farts all over with a couple of meaty bass plucks, and off we go. The chord progression is straight out of "La Bamba" or "Twist and Shout"; perhaps the Georgians had been inspired by Los Lobos's recent #1 remake of the former, or Ferris Bueller's Day Off's memorable revival of the latter? Not the usual sources of R.E.M.'s inspiration, if so, but I will allow it. Other favorite touches:

1. The xylophone during the second verse, adding to the song's whole "Fisher-Price" aura
2. The chirping backing vocals that seem to peek out from behind Michael Stipe during the third verse: "Your feet (feet!) are going to be on the ground/Your head (head!) is there to move you around." This is what happens when your song has been hijacked by all those high-pitched gnomes who were hiding in your garden.
3. The ultra-compressed, terrifyingly metallic-sounding background shouts of "Stand!" during the last chorus before the key change, which turn the title into less of an exhortation and more of a military command
4. Stipe's deliberately moronic pronunciation of the final "Stannnnnnn-duh!"

So I think what they're saying is ... that we are supposed to stand?



If there is a more joyous video for "Stand" than the one R.E.M. made, I have not seen it. The vibe I get is of a ragtag cluster of local musicians simply inviting a bunch of friends to town and saying, "Hey, who wants to be in our version of Pee Wee's Playhouse?" The video comes across like the Southern version of Talking Heads' "Wild Wild Life," except this time with some actual wildlife in it. The dancers look more like the habitués of the local bookstore than the supermodels one usually finds on MTV, their choreography admirably hit-or-miss. "Stand" is apparently fun for the whole family, be they kids drawing chalk circles on the pavement, or little old ladies tending their gardens. Let's not forget the obligatory shots of the Georgian countryside, and, holy shit, each member of R.E.M. is jumping into the air and morphing into another member before our very eyes!! (And check out the hair on that lead singer at 3:03.) Honestly, I watch this and I just want to move to Athens, Georgia and frolic in the fields with R.E.M. and all their bohemian art school buddies.

In summary: "Stand" may have been a tasty hint of the alternative explosion that was just around the corner, but it doesn't feel much like an explosion. It feels more like a whoopie cushion. Then again, sometimes a well-placed, strategically employed whoopie cushion can liven up the party like nothing else.