Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Noel from Oasis Assaulted; Indie Fans Rejoice

The story began when a 47-year-old Canadian man charged onto the stage at an Oasis concert in Toronto. Pitchfork was quick to pick up the story. Pitchfork newsman Matthew Solarski attempts to explain his interest in the manner:

"We bring you now to Oasis, rolling through 1995 classic "Morning Glory" at the Virgin Festival in Toronto last night (September 7). That's Liam on the mic and brother Noel on guitar to the viewer's right. Oh, and a word of caution: make sure you're not drinking anything around the 1:30 mark.

I'd like to think the "You know you should so I guess you might as well" egged that dude on. [Thanks to reader Jack Perira for the tip.]

Now of course we don't condone such random acts of violence, but much like "America's Funniest Home Videos" taught a generation to find humor in the amusingly painful moments of others, we laugh here because it is funny. It also helps knowing that Noel and the rest of Oasis simply dusted off for a few minutes and carried on with the gig."

Let's just come out and say it, hearing that a man of Noel Gallagher's nature got shoved while playing a show is funny.

Then we got an "Oasis Update" in which Mr. Solarski sounded a note of regret for his earlier joking: "Okay, we admit it. Upon first viewing the YouTube clip of Noel Gallagher getting knocked on his ass by an unnamed assailant during last night's Oasis set at the Virgin Festival, we LOL'd. Kind of a lot. Perhaps we even felt a smidgen of schadenfreude, too. But it would seem those reactions were a bit premature. According to a message just posted to their website, Oasis are taking the matter very seriously."

We here at Cosmic American Blog relish the schadenfreude.

Oasis's next show was postponed because, "Noel fell heavily on to his monitor speakers when he was pushed suddenly from behind by his attacker and suffered bruising to his ribs and hip. He was examined in a local hospital after the band's performance and has been advised to rest." I'm sure it doesn't feel good, but that doesn't sound too serious either.

Oddly enough, even 47-year-old Canadians are prone to occasional random violence. I'm sure he wasn't expecting to seriously injure Noel, or then be arrested for assault, but that's why you don't do stupid things like hit people in the head with baseball bats or shove random rich famous people. That sort of thing works a lot better in cartoons.


Little Earl said...

As Damon Albarn sips his tea and giggles haughtily with ticklish delight.

Little Earl said...

Judging from his latest blog entry, Noel sounds OK to me:

"Nowt down today, droogs. Spent all day in bed suffering from my severe tickling at the hands of that drunken Canadian who, it transpires, is a grown man of 47 years!! (And I thought I was the oldest person at our gigs!) In his defence though, he's probably having one of those mid-life crises things. Apparently it's on YouTube. Imagine doing an assault on world television!? Did get to watch 4 "Seinfeld"s though. And some American football, so not too dissimilar to a normal day back home. Have to get another check up tomorrow. I'm gonna ask for new bionic ribs.

Apologies for blowing out the show in London (that's London in Canada). You can thank your comrade from Toronto for that. We will return though. Probably in December.

Anyway, gotta go. These painkillers are kicking in again."

He'll be fine.