Can't Stay Away From "Can't Stay Away From You"

Back when a cassette copy of Let It Loose found itself permanently lodged in my family's car stereo, I thought it was da bomb. I was also eight years old, and my school lunches consisted of a packet of fruit snacks, a slice of bologna, and a Capri-Sun - none of which I am convinced contained anything resembling actual food. They say a growing boy should eat a nutritious diet. Whoops! I have to wonder: if I had actually bothered to consume real food during my youth, just how much healthier would I be now?

The point is, at the time, I was a fervent admirer of hits like "1-2-3" and "Anything For You," but now I'd probably rather listen to "anything" other than those two songs faster than you can say "1-2-3." However. There is one sleazy, heavily dated Let It Loose ballad that still gets me where it hurts. I know it's just no use, 'cause I can't stay away from "Can't Stay Away From You."

I'm pretty sure the opening percussive "domp, domp" sound was generated by Gloria and/or the other members of the Sound Machine finding an extremely obese man on the streets of Miami, luring him into the studio, shoving a microphone into his pliable belly, and gently tapping his gelatinous flab from side to side. Give that man a recording contract! Or maybe it was ... a giant vat of water? Let's face it, that "domp, domp" noise is what makes this baby churn. Without it we'd just have a languid stew of treated guitar, gloopy synths, and imitation snare blasts during the chorus that, for me at least, conjure up the image of a truck hitting one of those protective freeway drums filled with sand - it's like you can hear the little bits of bad '80s sound flying through the air with each pound.

Yes, like a grade school lunch, there's hardly any element in the sonic tableau of "Can't Stay Away From You" that stems from actual organic human creation. But there is one, and it's the only one that matters. What violent inner psychological turmoil was Gloria Estefan hiding beneath that placid, Cuban-American surface? Because on this song, the Notorious G.E. lays it all out on the line. You thought "Words Get In the Way" was a downer? Try "Can't Stay Away From You" on for size.

A quick glance at the first few lines of the lyric sheet would suggest a "Conga"-style fiesta: "Time flies/When you're having fun/I heard somebody say." Break out the Cuervo! But this time, master of misdirection that she is, Gloria has a less giddy scenario in mind:

But if all I've been is fun
Then baby let me go
Don't wanna be in your way

And I don't wanna be your second choice
Don't wanna be just your friend
You keep telling me that you're not in love
You wanna throw it all away

Well, hey, not everyone's looking for the same thing in a relationship. Some people want to have a good time, others want the wedding ring and the house with the picket fence and the 2.3 kids. So what's the big deal?

But I can't stay away from you
I don't wanna let you go
And though it's killing me, that's true
There's just some things I can't control

Your love is slipping through my hands
And though I've heard it all before
I know you're telling me the truth
I know it's just no use
But I can't stay away from you

Ohhhh. That's her problem right there. I mean, she should probably just stay away from him. For years I heard the lyrics "Look over your shoulder, I'll be there/You can count on me to stay," and assumed, marginally paying attention to the rest of the content, that Gloria was saying something along the lines of "You can depend on me, baby." Words of reassurance. But no, what she's saying is "You really shouldn't count on me to stay." She should just snap out of it, but she can't, because she feeds off the pain.

I should mention one stellar instrumental touch aside from the obese man's tummy. At the very end of the song, as Gloria repeats the last three lines of the chorus, the forcefully plucked notes from the synthesized zither (?) slow to an agonizing crawl, dragging out the drama until every last drop of Yuppie tears has been squeezed dry. Note on the video: perhaps it should have been titled: "Can't Stay Away From You ... But I Can Afford This Luxury Apartment Chock Full Of Priceless Statues That's Bathed In Overpowering Hues Of Blue."

Frankly, "Can't Stay Away From You" had never been a particular favorite of mine (I was more of a "Rhythm Is Gonna Getcha" kid myself) - until one chance listen on a deserted roadway in the summer of 1996. During that particular summer I found myself dealing with, for the first time, feelings related to, shall we say, girls - and not necessarily the pleasant, comforting kind of feelings. More like the "I don't think these girls feel remotely the same way about me as I do about them, but I can't seem to move on" type of feelings. I suddenly found myself in Lassen National Park, preparing to embark on a nine-day backpacking trip with my scout troop. We were car camping on the very first night, and for some reason there was time to kill and an item or two that someone needed to go pick up from a store - the nearest store being, naturally, 45 minutes away. That is how I found myself riding on a virtually empty stretch of highway, in the vehicle of somebody's dad - a dad I didn't actually know that well - along with another kid in the car (who I didn't know that well either). The dad had the radio on. We were all tired, not talking to each other, merely listening to the music. Now, I don't know what station this was, but it wasn't your typical Bay Area radio station; it was like your kooky Northern Northern California radio station that played Classic Rock and oldies and traditional vocal pop and God knows what else. For instance, on that very same car ride, I ended up receiving my first exposure to Paper Lace's "The Night Chicago Died." At any rate. Suddenly the station played Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine's "Can't Stay Away From You." I instantly had one of those "I haven't heard this song in years" moments.

You've got to understand. Yes, the difference between 2019 and 1996 is 23 years, and the difference between 1996 and 1988 is only eight years. But. In pop music time, that eight years might as well have been eighty years. Pop music in 1996 had long ceased to sound anything like pop music from 1988. It's funny, but sitting there in that car, hearing this song, I mean ... 1988 seemed like it had been a long time ago. And personally, we're talking the difference between being eight years old and being sixteen years old.

So I'm sitting there listening to this Gloria Estefan song I hadn't heard in eight years, soaking in the desolate, rugged Lassen landscape, with girls on my mind even though I didn't want girls on my mind, wondering how the hell I was going to enjoy myself on this backpacking trip when I used to be able to go on backpacking trips without having girls on my mind, and suddenly I started to hear new wrinkles in the tacky late '80s wallpaper. The emotion in Gloria's vocal that didn't quite register in my younger days now seemed to take on a creepier, harsher resonance. Honestly, I think it was reassuring to recognize that, even back in 1988, relationships could be messy and depressing. There was something about the unexpected entanglement of dated synth, bitter sentiment, recollection of the time when the song was a hit, the exhaustion and heat of that particular afternoon, the dry, barren beauty of the region, and my present-day uncertainty and fear that all somehow meshed together to really hit the spot.

So yeah. I've got to give her this one.