Belinda's Horrible, Dickensian Childhood Suddenly Makes Me Think Of A Great CCR Song

So Belinda's birth father says bye bye. Makes sense to the rest of us, but try explaining that to a confused little girl:

At seven years old, I simply wanted to know where my dad was and why he wasn't coming home. I also wanted to know why he didn't want to be with us anymore. When he did call, why didn't he want to speak to me? And why did my mom always hang up in tears?

For a while I got into the habit of perching next to the living room window after dinner and staring into the darkness, looking for my dad. I thought that if I looked long and hard enough, I might wish him back and see his truck turn onto the street and pull into the driveway. As I sat there, I used to play his favorite 78s on our stereo, albums by Donald O'Connor and Burl Ives, as if they might help lure him up the driveway and through the door.

They didn't.

My mom let me go through that ritual without explaining that my dad wasn't coming back home. One day I finally threw a fit and insisted on knowing why he didn't want to be with us anymore. She said, "One day I can tell you. One day you'll understand. But not now."

When I read this passage, aside from being tempted to enter it into a "Saddest Memory of All Time" competition, I suddenly thought of Creedence Clearwater Revival's very last single, "Someday Never Comes," released in 1972. Now, what could Creedence Clearwater Revival and Belinda Carlisle's childhood possibly have to do with each other? Plenty, my friends - plenty.

John Fogerty was just about the polar opposite of a confessional singer-songwriter. CCR songs tend to exist in some mythical Southern fantasy world; Fogerty grew up in the East Bay. But when I read Bad Moon Rising: The Unauthorized History of Creedence Clearwater Revival, I learned that "Someday Never Comes," written as the band was falling apart, was entirely autobiographical:

"My parents divorced when I was young," John said. "My wife and I separated around that time. We got back together for a long time and eventually did divorce, which is a very sad thing. The song was basically me talking about how it happened to me when I was young, and here I go, doing the same damn thing."

"John had left home," Doug (CCR's bassist) expanded. "He left his family and his little boy. His father left him when he was a child and had a divorce. John felt very guilty about it, and very bad. It was a deep, deep, deep song. It was the most personal song John ever did."

Suddenly, after hearing Belinda recount the "answer" her mother gave her as to why her father left the family, I gave "Someday Never Comes" another spin.

First thing I remember was askin' papa, "Why?",
For there were many things I didn't know
And Daddy always smiled; took me by the hand,
Sayin', "Someday you'll understand"

Well, I'm here to tell you now each and every mother's son
You better learn it fast, you better learn it young,
'Cause, "someday" never comes

OK, these are like the innocent little questions a child asks, such as "Why is the sky blue?" and "Where do babies come from?" and annoying crap like that. Then the questions get a little more painful:

Well, time and tears went by and I collected dust,
For there were many things I didn't know
When Daddy went away, he said, "Try to be a man,
And, someday you'll understand"

But I'm here to tell you now each and every mother's son
You better learn it fast, you better learn it young,
'Cause, "someday" never comes

But now the adult Fogerty realizes he's been had. Someday's here, damn it! Where the hell's my explanation?

And then, one day in April, I wasn't even there,
For there were many things I didn't know
A son was born to me; Mama held his hand,
Sayin' "Someday you'll understand"

Well, I'm here to tell you now each and every mother's son
You better learn it fast, you better learn it young,
'Cause, "someday" never comes

So now he's a father, but he's just as shitty of a father as his father was to him, which leaves the mother with the responsibility of covering up for his absence. She doesn't know what to say (not that a newborn can understand human language anyway, but hey, poetic license), so she essentially tells a lie. But the even older Fogerty of the present day is here to tell you now what his then-wife was afraid of admitting then.

Think it was September, the year I went away,
For there were many things I didn't know
And I still see him standing, trying to be a man,
I said, "Someday you'll understand"

But I'm here to tell you now each and every mother's son
You better learn it fast, you better learn it young,
'Cause, "someday" never comes

So there you have it. Well all like to think that there will come this big great moment when we will suddenly understand human nature in all its contradictory glory. "Well, I don't know anything now, but someday I'll understand," Fogerty says when he's both a child and a rich rock star. Well, now he's a rich rock star, but he still doesn't know any more about life than he did when he was a child!

Parents like to soften the painful blows to their children, but what children like John Fogerty and Belinda Carlisle finally "learn" when they grow up is that not even their parents really know why human beings do the awful things they do.

If you look at it one way, this is sad and tragic, but if you look at it another way, it's beautiful, because human life, in essence, is a great mystery, and those with true wisdom eventually learn, and learn to appreciate, that there will always be many things we can never truly know.