Hilarious Headlines Of Articles I Can't Quite Bring Myself To Read

1) American Girls Reaching Puberty Earlier Than Ever

2) Germs Gone Wild: How The Unchecked Development of Domestic Bio-Defense Threatens America

3) What Does Obesity Cost Your State?

4) Why Is David Lynch Pimping This Handbag?

5) This Doctor Does What To 6-Year-Old Girls' Clitorises?

6) When Did Testicles Become Courageous?

All right, I have to confess, I did read that last one, along with other Slate Explainer gems such as "How Many Americans Can't Swim?" and "Did Report Cards Ever Have a Grade of E?" I also succumbed to the allure of "Whatever Happened to the Box-Office Bomb?," "Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality" and "George Washington Racks Up Late Fees at Library." Apparently he owes $300,000, but the library "isn't seeking payment of the fines." Father of Our Country? How about Father of Our Late Fees?