McSweeney's publishes something funny once in a while to justify their elaborately beautiful publications. This parody of Atlas Shrugged, set in the contemporary financial whirligig, is just such an item.
"He gestured to his floor-to-ceiling windows, a symbol of his productive ability and goodness.
"There's a whole world out there of byzantine financial products just waiting to be invented, Dagny. Let the leeches run my factories into the ground! I hope they do! I've taken out more insurance on a single Rearden Steel bond than the entire company is even worth! When my old company finally tanks, I'll make a cool $877 million."
Their eyes locked with an intensity she was only beginning to understand. Yes, Hank ... claim me ... If we're to win the battle against the leeches, we must get it on ... right now ... Don't let them torture us for our happiness ... or our billions."
"It's perfect. There's only one problem—half the pages are missing. Could you reconstruct it, Dagny?"
ReplyDeleteHer answer escaped her lips like air from a punctured galvanized-steel duct:
"No."
"I didn't think so, but why leave such an achievement to rot here? It's the greatest thing I've ever laid eyes on, made by a monumental genius, the sort of mind that's only born once in a century ... Dagny, why are you fondling your breasts?"
Good find Yoggoth. I forgot how awful her writing style was. Oooh, I think I'm going to go make love to a large stainless steel air duct, or would that be betraying my intellect?
ReplyDeleteI won't defend Atlas Shrugged, but lay off The Fountainhead at the very least.
ReplyDeleteAlso: is it just me, or is that stamp illustration eerily reminiscent of a Stalin or Mao poster? Big Objectivist Sister is watching you!