An Open Letter To Wes Anderson

Dear Wes,

Yoggoth and Little Earl want you to know that they tried their best to see The Darjeeling Limited last night. Well, actually, they did manage to see half of The Darjeeling Limited. But they weren't able to see all of it. You see, the whole episode was really quite Andersonian.

Yoggoth and Little Earl both felt a strong desire to see your new movie, but the problem is, they live in different cities. Little Earl suggested they circumvent this obstacle by agreeing on a convenient halfway point and trying to find a theater somewhere in the vicinity of that halfway point (that also would be playing your movie). After a little research on the web, Little Earl found what he assumed would be the perfect location: Pleasant Hill. There was a theater in Pleasant Hill called CineArts, and it was playing your movie at both 7:10 and 9:30. Not wishing to stay out too late, Yoggoth and Little Earl aimed for the 7:10 showing. After a skillfull navigation of BART by Little Earl, and an expert handling of traffic by Yoggoth, the two managed to meet at the Pleasant Hill BART station. They soon discoved that, contrary to its name, there are no hills anywhere and the general aura of the town is not particularly pleasant.

Driving through a thick, syrupy drizzle, they attempted to locate the CineArts theater (the whole experience heightened by the presence of Nuggets II: Golden Artyfacts From The British Empire and Beyond playing on the stereo). According to Google Maps, the location of the theater was 2314 Monument Dr. At first the two ended up at the Century Theater, which was not playing your movie at all. Then they seemed to find themselves heading in the correct direction on Monument Dr. They passed 1800 Monument Dr., then they suddenly found themselves at 2600 Monument Dr. They re-traced their steps several times over. When the last ditch hope that the theater was in the back of the Costco parking lot failed to prove to their advantage, it was already quite past 7:10. Undaunted, they continued to search for the theatre in hopes of catching the 9:30 showing (after some dinner, perhaps).

Pleasant Hill was proving itself to be the Bermuda Triangle of the East Bay. Yoggoth and Little Earl were never quite sure whether they were heading north or south. They got on the freeway and got off several times. Familiar landmarks would pop up in unfamiliar places. After turning into the parking lot of Bally Fitness Center, they finally found it: CineArts Theater. There was a big marquee in front of the box office; it's just too bad that it didn't happen to be turned on. Immediately next door was a sleazy-looking nightclub with a pair of (possible?) prostitutes standing outside smoking. A fitting location for a Wes Anderson movie.

Terrified of the looming showdown over their choice of dinner eating establishment, they managed to stumble upon a diner named the Capitola Grille, which was apparently still in the throes of its "grand opening." The menu proved quite eclectic and satisfying. Little Earl made his way with a chili bread bowl, while Yoggoth proved more adventurous with a strange pork sandwich concoction. Despite a troublesome credit card slot at the register, The Capitola Grille was the one unqualified success of the evening.

Back at the CineArts, they discovered that the only entrance to the particular screen showing your movie could only be found by following a yellow painted line that swerved around to the back of the building. When the previews started up, the projection faltered once or twice. Then it seemed to find its groove.

Yoggoth and Little Earl try to reserve full judgment of your films until the credits roll. Sadly, they did not get that chance, as about an hour of the way through, the projector finally seemed to falter for good. An usher came out and told the audience that they were working on fixing it and that the movie would resume after ten minutes. After fifteen minutes, a manager came out and told the audience that the projector was beyond repair and that everyone was welcome to ask for a refund. Yoggoth and Little Earl understood; they'd worked in a movie theater before. But they feared that you, Wes Anderson, might not.

So it was simply not to be. But rest assured, they gave it everything they had.

Sincerely,

Yoggoth and Little Earl

p.s. Yoggoth then managed to scrape the front of his car against the curb. Little Earl was unable to push his seat back because of a gigantic tire that Yoggoth had resting in the back seat for some reason that was left unexplained to Little Earl. Little Earl's BART ride was slowed down by a twenty-minute layover at MacArthur station; apparently his car had to wait for all the other cars before heading back to the city. A group of drunken Friday night revelers found their way into Little Earl's BART car. One of the girls began filming him with her camcorder. She asked him if he was having a good Friday night, but he couldn't hear her because he had his headphones on. He took his headphones off and she asked him again. He paused, and then answered "...Sure." She said, "'Sure'? That's not an answer. Are you having a good night or a bad night?" Little Earl emphatically said, "Yes!" and she said "OK, good." Little Earl was glad that at least someone was pleased.