So I'm looking on the MSN home page and I see a headline that says, "Dole Recalls Bagged Salad." And all I'm thinking is, "Who the hell gives a shit what Bob Dole has to say about bagged salad?" Of course, a few moments later, I realized the creative lengths to which my mind had roamed. And yet, I still couldn't help but envision such an article in my head. Come on, it doesn't take much:
"It was back in '73, when I had the most delicious bagged salad you've ever had, let me tell you, at a convenience store in Amarillo. Whoa nelly, you couldn't beat it. Almost as good as the one I had that time back in '57, when I was stranded at a Wendy's in Osh Kosh with my sister."
Woah, I read through your whole post and I still didn't get it until I followed the link. Viagra isn't good enough for 'em?
ReplyDeleteI admit that I thought of Bob Dole but I also thought of the recent recalls of vegetables that have occurred. I underwent several moments of giddy cognitive dissonance as strange sexual maneuvers and SNL appearances swam before my vision before remembering that Dole is also a corporation.
ReplyDeleteOne note--I don't think they had bagged salads until relatively recently. But he could have been thinking of the best salad he had on the campaign trail. I bet they have to eat on the go a lot.
*sigh* The way the mind of an intellectual works ...
ReplyDeleteHonestly though... actually, I'd rather not get into that, because I just had an unsavoury picture of Bob Dole in my head.